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Home Again

by Cleaven Pagani

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1.
Greenlight (variation on a letter to my son) 02:54
lyrics
Been given the green light, for living the fast life Down the Bow in a canoe Your smile is so bright, get started at first light Adventure calling me and you Everything else just fades, away Longing for one more day We were meant for this Getting lost in the mountains, finding giants and lions Just waiting to come out of us You have what it takes son, I’m proud of what you’ve done My love will keep on going on Everything else just fades, away Longing for one more day We were meant for this From boyhood to cowboy, I’ve seen you come alive Getting stronger everyday You’ll be a fierce warrior, a king and a lover I hope that I can be your sage Go find love, go find the beauty, in this life Go find love, go find a beauty, and love her till the end of time
2.
Cleaven and Dassy - Keep On (feat. Dassy) 03:54
lyrics
For years I’ve shared a pen with you Told the world you wrote the good parts, gave you credit too I’m asking for the thousandth time, to take control Still I wait for you to come through (you just say) keep on living, keep on trying keep on loving, keep on dying keep on living, keep on trying Hold your faith, it won't let you down I know that I’ve been greedy take what I want, pick and choose I tell myself if you’re there for me, I’ll pray to you I’ll ask you for the thousandth time, to take control Will I mean it when I say I do? (you just say) keep on living, keep on trying keep on loving, keep on dying keep on living, keep on trying Hold your faith, it won't let you down I know you’re not leaving I never listen to you God can you give me a reason? Can you give me a clue? (you just say) keep on living, keep on trying keep on loving, keep on dying keep on living, keep on trying Hold your faith, it won't let you down
3.
Queen of the North 05:34
lyrics
Do you remember the morning When mom fell while boarding Queen of the north, the one we lost We got on, she was taken off Her knee was cut down to the bone Four hundred and twenty seven meters down The last trip on the inside pass She ran aground and 2 folks drown I worry about what I can’t change Scared to lose the ones I love Riding puddles under power lines never knew what we would find running down the grassy hill trying not to roll off the edge I would strum my old guitar writing songs when we’re apart Now I hear the enemy Every single time I bleed Whispers and convinces me I can live any way I please Picking cherries the red and gold like we had an orchard of our own and with a makeshift baseball bat knocking rotten apples out I know it should come easily Thinking back on memories Take from me, my disbelief Before it all devours me Life was so easy then we just didn’t know it yet but now I do
4.
I'm Alive 03:39
lyrics
I was built for the heat But I’m encased in ice I was born to love But I’m not that nice I want to slow down I want to savior this light Come on I want to show you every color in the sky oh my I have a love of the world, I have the love of my life All the beautiful things making me feel alive I’m alive I was built to climb, but I’m afraid of heights I was born to run, but not with these old joints We were built to swim But we try to fly When we’re together baby you and me can touch the sky I have a love of the world, I have the love of my life All the beautiful things making me feel alive I’m alive I was born to run I was born to try I was born to love And I feel alive, I’m alive
5.
Tye-Dye Girl (feat. Cassie Crispin) 03:25
lyrics
We were soaking up the sun, discovering the island Playful looks, and big blue skies, you had my attention Daring me to swim deeper, into those hopeful eyes That summer went on forever, just like you and I You in my hands, me at your side, didn’t know where we’re going My tye-dye girl, waiting in a ride, no idea where we’re going Didn’t matter where we’re going We found a fort on the North side, made out of driftwood Snapping candid’s on real film, we were just children Trying different poses, that old Olympus gave us life That memory will be forever, just like you and I You in my hands, me at your side, didn’t know where we’re going My tye-dye girl, waiting in a ride, no idea where we’re going Didn’t matter where we’re going Chasing orcas in the harbor at night You were a wild one You could never tame those curls And still I don’t mind We set sail for the most secluded island we could find You in my hands, me at your side, didn’t know where we’re going My tye-dye girl, waiting in a ride, no idea where we’re going Didn’t matter where we’re going
6.
Home Again 03:23
lyrics
I’ve got paint drying in my hair Insulation flying everywhere Hand hurts hammer in my fist Knuckles bruised from the times I’ve missed I tried to warn you didn’t I? This is gonna take longer than we have I tried to warn you didn’t I? I miss the sea salt on my skin Like an old love, we breathe it in I ache for the place we left Now we’re here better start again I gave you my heart now didn’t I? And I’ll try to be a better friend I gave you my all now didn’t I? Wanna make the house a home again? Home again Home again Home again Tell me you like it Tell me the lighting matches the mood Show me excitement Cause I’m never ever gonna want to move never gonna move I gave you my heart now didn’t I? And I’ll try to be a better friend I gave you my all now didn’t I? Wanna make the house a home again? make it home again make it home again make it home again
7.
Anyway 03:47
lyrics
Do you remember when we first met? We were young and so innocent, and I was afraid Didn’t know how to give my heart away I sheltered and protected it, until that day The sky was clear, filled with balloons I said ‘I do’ you said ‘me too’ You made me laugh, I made you weep You married me, anyway Anyway, anyway We fell in love Anyway Remember when our life was rearranged The tumour took control, those nights were cold Thought I’d lose your hand to hold You were brave, we chased that demon away Anyway, anyway We fell in love Anyway Any way this goes, any road we take Anything it costs, we’ll savour life You’re still my love, I’m not afraid When it’s time to go, you’ll remain my wife You’ll remain my life Anyway, anyway We fell in love Anyway
8.
I'll be... 02:06
lyrics
I’ll be the sun upon the sea I’ll be the sugar in your tea I’ll be, ordinary I’ll be Christmas to your tree I’ll be the band-aid on your knee I’ll be, your remedy I’ll be The Hip on CBC I’ll be the punch at the party I’ll be, the hero maker I’ll be the lock that fits your key I’ll be the winch that pulls you free I’ll be strong and mighty I’ll be the clean to your messy (wait, no, I got that backwards) I’ll be the sweet to your savory I’ll be the plot to your story I’ll be the fun in your funny I’ll be, the more to plenty I’ll be the voice to the decree I’ll be every word you need I’ll be, the dictionary I’ll be Goliath to a flea I’ll be brave and manly I’ll be, the weight to heavy
9.
...more than that (Ordinary Superhero) 02:24
lyrics
I’ll be the calm to your worry I’ll be the goodness to your naughty I’ll be the bank for your money, sauce on your spaghetti I’ll be a rock to keep you steady, the solo to your chewy I’ll be Joseph to your Mary, the Ann to your Andy I’ll be, I’ll be more than that I’ll be the Eli to your Zoey I’ll be the hokey in your pokey be confetti at your wedding, be the Kramer to your Jerry I’ll be Roger to your Sherri I’ll be a king among fans Like a souped-up car, in a sea of minivans I’ll be, I’ll be more than that I’ll be the anchor to your bungee I’ll be the answer to your theory I’ll be the dollar to the penny, the remote for the telly be the soft to your crunchy, the button to your belly Peanut butter to your jelly, the blue to your berry I’ll be, I’ll be more than that
10.
Intercalaris 02:10
lyrics
(Instrumental)
11.
Downforever (reimagined) 04:19
lyrics
Most of the time I don’t understand The words that I’m saying I’m drowning in this fog Lying in the darkness cold all around us I can’t think straight These pills have swallowed us Most of the time I close my eyes And pray I’ll wake up clean You were afraid to get close to me I won’t lay down forever I won’t give in to the fear I won’t stay down forever Because I have you here Most of the time I keep pushing forward I can’t re-live the past I can’t do this again Lying the darkness wrapped in blankets You were afraid to touch You know I am damaged goods Most of the time I keep pushing forward It’s only in my limbs The real pain comes from within I won’t lay down forever I won’t give in to the fear I won’t stay down forever Because I have you here Wherever you are God I’m still here
12.
Snowflake 04:28
lyrics
Now we’re at an all time low Step forward, start small, go slow We’re just getting started Living in denial, thinking this will go away Your eyes are disappointed, girl I see it in your face Bearing a weight I can’t ignore We got married so in love Like a delicate snowflake We got married then realized How easy it was to break I knew you so delighted, free and in the young love phase Didn’t see it coming, caught up in the old rat-race Now I’m tired I promised you forever, I gave you my vow and name Trying to deliver, but I’m feeling so outplayed I’ve got a lot to change We got married so in love Like a delicate snowflake We got married then realized How easy it was to break I know I’m not a perfect man I know you’ll take me as I am For you I want to change For you I’d do anything We got married so in love It should’ve been a piece of cake We got married then realized Gonna have to rearrange We got married so in love Like a delicate snowflake We got married then realized How beautiful it was change Now we’re at an all time high The kind of love you dream of, the kind of love to multiply We’re just getting started
13.
Cleaven and Dassy - You Made Me (feat. Dassy) 04:42
lyrics
You made the earth and you made the trees  You made the thrilling colours of the leaves You made the mountains to shelter me You made the rivers to wash me clean You made me  You made the sun rise to wake me You held my hand when the current pulled me in You made the breath inside me  You gave your life blood to save me You saved me  You made the words that found me You brought me into your family You made my voice to proclaim and sing You will forever be my King You’re amazing You gave me light so I could roam free You gave me night to feel you close to me You gave me sky to keep me wondering  If I cry out to heaven would you hear me? Would you hear me? You gave me friends to support me You gave me time to savour everything You gave me quiet to restore me You gave me peace when I wanted to scream You made me You heard me You saved me You’re amazing
14.
Fellowship (Better Because of You) 04:13
lyrics
You can be real You can take your mask off it’s safe in here Reaching out with no idea You can say anything you want to, Be honest and be clear Sneaking a look at the view I know I’ve been there do not fear No one is going to judge We all have problems near Seeking out your fellowship I’m better because of you Embracing all your leadership I’m better because of you We were made to connect I’ve told you everything I’ve never shared with anyone Taking lessons from the only man Who never gave in to temptation Learning from your stewardship I’m better because of you Reaching out and giving it I’m better because of you Your friendship is the remedy Your friendship is the fuel Your friendship is the remedy To heal and restore To heal and restore me To heal and restore Seeking out your fellowship I’m better because of you Embracing all your leadership I’m better because of you Learning from your stewardship I’m better because of you Reaching out and giving it I’m better because of you
15.
Run and Hide 03:01
lyrics
He never really took a stand Always told me I was doing right He said “I can only support my girl” He said “they are grown, I cannot direct their life” But somewhere there must be a line Oh father of love, father of might Show me the path to the truth and light And it’s shifting in the wind tonight Hanging in the backyard alright phone in my ear, you at my side flames dancing in the twilight, oh he never ever disagreed saying “no” can be love sometimes Oh father of love, father of might Show me the path to the truth and light I’m bleeding out in the moonlight My father wound is open wide It’s taking everything I have inside Not to turn tail run and hide Oh father of love, father of might Show me the path to the truth and light
16.
War 04:24
lyrics
The moon ignites my shadow Traded Rook for queen I thought I had the upper hand But every time I count I fall in a noose Been scared to play because I might lose you Sin is couching at my door Dreaming, wanting, something more You’ve always been who I fight for I’m sick of drowning in this war We’re not too hot and not too cold Been orbiting, I thought we found our home Twenty eight more days, she said “that’s good news” Everything’s exposed when I press into you I fantasize for so much more The pain is real, I can’t ignore You’ve always been who I adore Healer help me win this war

credits

released June 2, 2022

Thanks to the VIPer crew at HSC for their time and talent.
Track 2 and 13: Music and lyrics by Cleaven Pagani and Hadassah Schminke.
Track 5: Vocals by Cleaven Pagani and Cassie Crispin.
Track 6: Lyrics by Cleaven Pagani and Dan Reem.
Track 7: Lyrics by Harry Vanderploeg and Cleaven Pagani. Background vocals by Hadassah Schminke.

All other music and lyrics by Cleaven Pagani.

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Cleaven Pagani Edmonton, Alberta

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